#28 Lyfe

What's lyfe without pain?
Sorrow?
or even... happiness?

Getting all the things that you've been asking for?
(Haha sike...) You won't get to fulfill each and every thing you wish for.

How you wish!

But then I suddenly realise something about lyfe, what?
Lyfe sucks because...
Lyfe isn't always as good as it seems.

When we're having fun or daydreaming maybe, time flies so fast.
But when we're having problems or stressed out, time is ticking very slowly.
You know what I mean?

Temporary.
Yes, Lyfe is temporary.

You either make it happen or stay in that lane, where you're currently standing right now.

You remember those lines, do you?

Exploring igstories, found a couple of friend whom I perceived them as my childhood bestfriends... is just saddening. Looking at how happy they are without me, makes me feel sad and useless.

What is going on with me...
I know. Maybe it's just my words.
What should I do about it?
Keep my mouth shut, I guess...?

For how long,
till I am not able to speak, like for real.

I have always been quiet.
Not knowing where and how to start a convo with a friend, classmate or even anyone.
It sucks, you know?
Like I keep losing a friend, one by one slowly.
All because of my wrong words or actions I took.

I did apologise. But all those apologies are just apologies, they don't meant anything different for them. I could really see it. Everyone of my friend is having fun and living a happy life right now, but what about me....?

I always question myself, where did I go wrong, how can I talk to them back, how can I gain my confidence to talk naturally or normally to people... I just keep giving up and I do not know where to go to.

I don't even know what I am good at or what I like to do.
No hobbies. No lyfe.
No friends. Nothing.

So, in the end I ended up being er day sad and yup, depressed and all that overthinking stuffs.
I don't even read books cause I am bad at english, haha. I am not even a TV person or a movie-goers, I just watch according to my mood or if someone wanna watch then I accompany that kind of thing. Or if I really interested, then I will watch if not, I won't.

Lyfe has been hard in RP. I hate school, the environment, food price, the rules, the learning habits or homework lifestyle, everything even the modules or the course I am taking... just not my interest at all. What more can I do? My lyfe is empty without friends. I am just living my day passing just like that without having a thought to find a inner interest in myself.

So, get a friend.
A friend that you can really talk to, like naturally and most importantly, make crazy moments with you, laughing and be there when you needed help or being emotionally sad. It's very hard to find that kind of a friend, so yeah. If you do have at least one, just stay true with that one person, you will never know what she can do for you in future, she might even cry for you when you're living a happy life knowing that you're doing good.

Because lyfe isn't always seems good as it looks.
Look at yourself.
Don't look down.
Look up.

You've always been there for yourself.
Even though you're lonely and yah with no one else by your side.
You know that god is there.
He'll always waiting for you to pray to him.

It's never too late to be happy.
Get real.
Get motivated and move on with lyfe.
Although it hurts, you just have to suck it up like my friend said.

Fall now, gain later.
Talk to you later :)